AIDS Widow Uses Computer Bulletin Board to Ease Grief
Linda Bloom
United Methodist News Service, May 17, 1994
The widow of a man with AIDS, Debbi J. mourned in isolation--until she hooked into the Computerized AIDS Ministries (CAM) network coordinated by the Health and Welfare Ministries Department of the United Methodist Board of Global Ministries.
Barb, another CAM user, said she considers the network a godsend. "Where else can these mothers in grief feel so connected to others in the same situation?"
And for B. Duloft, "the (United Methodist Church) has taken me from being a non-caring, hopeless-feeling individual to a person with a purpose. For the first time in my life, I have a 'church' I can belong to."
In June, CAM--available to anyone with a computer modem-- will mark its first anniversary. The Rev. Nancy A. Carter is systems operator for the bulletin board service.
As many as 1,000 people have logged on at one time or another and current active users number 455, according to the Rev. Charles Carnahan, Health and Welfare staff executive.
The 40,716 calls to the network received between mid-June 1993 and mid-May 1994 have been encouraged through department mailing lists and electronic word-of-mouth. "Other people on other (computer) bulletin boards talk about us," he explained.
New users are asked a series of demographic questions for data-gathering purposes--sex, age, type of computer, religious affiliation--and may select their own ID code and password. Many users have "handles"--Freebird, Crazy Lady and Diamond Rio.
After checking their mailboxes for messages, users can select one of 15 "forums" and do anything from reading the latest medical information on AIDS to joining an electronic debate to offering prayers. Forums are monitored by selected regular users.
In the "memorial" forum, which Carnahan calls an "electronic AIDS quilt," users pay tribute to those who have died of AIDS. One quilt piece refers to Charles Bergner, a United Methodist who was writing a play when diagnosed with HIV.
"Who knows what he could have written had he been able to live beyond his mid-30s?" the writer wonders. "He was dead eight months after his diagnosis ... he displayed great courage and love as he sought to educate other United Methodists about HIV."
Another memorial entry, from Mark H. to his good friend Jimmy, begins: "Hi, Jimmy. I decided today that I would NOT be attending the memorial service planned for you. The reason I will not be there is because I doubt that it will be festive enough to satisfy the tone of our time spent together."
The "medical" and "living" forums are popular for their resources on coping with the disease, according to Carnahan. Additional materials are available through CAM's library information banks. "A number of people have said this information has literally saved their lives," he adds.
The "parents" forum has connected users from areas where "nobody in their town knows that their son or daughter has died of AIDS," Carnahan says. Some of these parents have traveled distances to meet each other in person.
While CAM was not specifically created for evangelical purposes, a "natural outgrowth" has been users who seek supportive United Methodist congregations, he says.
Carter "told us about a new place that would welcome us," says user Belle Bacall. "Many of us were suspicious because of negative experiences with the church. We were afraid of judgment and condemnation. We found peace and hope and love."
